Dating your spouse should be a high priority in your marriage. If you don’t want to neglect your marriage then don’t neglect to date your spouse. Too often couples only think of dating as something they do before marriage. But when they think that way they lose out on this valuable resource for reconnecting with their spouse. I know that’s the way it was in our experience.
This Valentine’s Day, Janet and I plan to go on a date for the evening. This will be our 40th Valentine’s date. It’s a little extra special because it’s also the anniversary of our first date. Although we do not plan to go to the drive-in movies again, we do plan to do something special.
But the truth is, we don’t just date on Valentine’s Day, our birthdays, or our wedding anniversary. No, we try to make dating a regular part of our life. We don’t go out to dinner once a week as some do, but we do go when we can.
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One of the hardest things I have had to come to terms with in my life is the fact that I spent nineteen years of my marriage being an unhappy wife when all along I could have been a very happy wife. I’ve had to mourn those wasted years. There gone now and there is nothing I can do to get them back. That’s why I am so thankful the Lord is redeeming that time for us.
Though if I could, I would go back and talk to my former self. Because there are some things I would like for her to know. There are some things I would like to say to her to encourage her and reassure her. So I would say…. Read more
You don’t have to settle for a marriage where you no longer feel passionate for each other. It doesn’t have to be that way. And you don’t have to dismiss a lack of passion in your marriage as something that passes with time. It is possible to keep the passion going for as long as you both shall live.
Janet and I are living proof that passion can be reborn in a marriage and it can be sustained for a lifetime. This week we will celebrate our thirty-first anniversary and we are probably more passionate for each other today than we ever have been, in spite of the fact that for many years we struggled to even like each other. And even if you have lost the passion you once had for each other, it is possible to Get Passion Back into Your Marriage.
Every marriage should have a good balance of partnership and friendship. It is difficult and there are many couples who fail at it every day, but it is possible.
Marriage is the only relationship where we should have both partnership and friendship. Ordinarily, in any other relationship, it is considered unwise to mix the two. A business partnership that starts from friendship will usually hurt the friendship and a partnership that develops into friendship can hurt the partnership. Unless everyone understands the difference and they are able to balance the two properly.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post, How Are You Two Related? where I started talking about how in order to have a good relationship we have to look at how well we relate to each other. Then on our last post, How Do You Relate? As Friends, Partners, Lovers, or All Three? I talked about how there are three major ways for us to relate to our spouse and the three types of love that go along with those ways of relating to each other.
Now on this post, I wanted to dig deeper on the subject of relating to each other as friends. But as I looked back at a previous post I did last year, Becoming Best Friends for Life, I felt there is really not that much I would say differently than I did then. So I thought the best thing to do here is to share an edited excerpt from that post.
Friendship in marriage is really important. It’s that place in marriage where two people are joined together in a way that they not only love each other, they really like each other.
Couples sometimes need some help to keep their love from fading and their relationship from drifting apart. Drifting apart is all too real for so many couples and I would go so far to say, it is something that happens to all couples at one time or another.
The key is knowing why it happens and what you can do to change it.
Why do we drift?
The bible teaches us, (Gen.2:24) that marriage requires for a man and a woman to be joined together, and they become one flesh. The KJV bible uses the word cleave for joined together. Other translations use the words embraces, united, and cling. The picture here is that the covenant marriage relationship is to create a bond of oneness that is so tight there can be no separating what used to be two.