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Why Marriage Restoration is Better Than a Brand New Marriage

There is something special about brand new. When something brand new comes in your life there are special feelings that come with it. A new car, a new house, new clothes, new tools, new appliances, all share in common that special feeling.

marriage restoration

The same can be said about a new marriage. There is excitement and hopeful anticipation for what the future will hold. You don’t know everything this new journey will encounter. But you believe the two of you together can conquer the world.

A brand new marriage, whether it’s the first, second, third or whatever, feels like a new start. There is no bad history, bad memories, or bad feelings between husband and wife. They can take everything they know about life and relationships and apply it to this new marriage. And everything should work out just fine.

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Can You Love Your Spouse Even When it Hurts?

It’s easy to love your spouse when your marriage is healthy and going strong. There is a rhythm to how love flows and it seems effortless. It’s like the two of you are dancing in harmony with each step perfectly timed and choreographed. You give and then you receive and then you give some more. You both give love at the same time and in the same way. You both give love at opposite times and in opposite ways. You know without a doubt the two of you are becoming one.

when it hurts

But what if your marriage is not working this way? What if the music has stopped and there is no dance left in your marriage? You’re trying to continue to love your spouse even though you are seriously hurting inside. You believe in marriage. You want to honor the vows you have made. You want to do what is right before God. So you keep trying to love even when the pain of rejection and neglect keeps telling you to stop.

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Do You Have Anyone Praying for You?

Is there anyone praying for you? When you’re going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God. Who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?

I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day, getting advice is good and is sometimes needed.

But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone. Knowing there are other people who have your back. And they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.

It is one of those precious treasures that will stay with you for the rest of your life. When you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you. The ones who were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.

Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me. More than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who passed away almost three years ago was that someone for me. I knew without a doubt he was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.

Praying for you

Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through. I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere and unbiased. He was in his third marriage. And after two failed marriages, he was able to share from a deep well of experience and wisdom. Read more

Should You Stand for Your Marriage

There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and believe for the restoration of your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.

I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.

 

stand

Your story may be different from what I went through, but I understand the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further, then the next minute your heart is so alive with the hope of your future as long as you can just hang on a little longer.

I know there are times when your spouse has a lot to do with how much heartache or hope you feel. You hang on to every little word and every little action trying to read into which direction your spouse will take. And then there are times when your spouse gives you no reason at all to hope but yet you have hope anyway.
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This One Thing Is Destroying Marriages Everyday

Everyday marriages all over the world are being destroyed by a single killer. This killer morphs in many forms and works in various ways, but make no mistake the threat of this thing is very real and very dangerous. If this killer is not able to destroy a marriage it will at the very least render a marriage powerless to reach the full potential it was designed to be.

I’m angry about what this killer has done to hurt so many marriages and I’m passionate about being part of an army who aims to defeat this enemy of marriages.

One thing destroying marriages

Now when I tell you the name of this marriage destroyer, I hope you don’t overlook the danger behind its simplistic name. And I hope you’re not offended by what I’m saying here. I hope you understand I’m trying to help us all. I’m not trying to point the finger at anybody and I’m not trying to put people down. This thing nearly destroyed my own marriage and in some ways I know it can still threaten us today.

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What if You’re Not “IN LOVE” Anymore

“I love you, but I’m not “IN LOVE” with you.”

You want your spouse to know you really do care for him/her. The two of you have shared so much together, so naturally, you still love them as a person. You’re not cold-hearted and you don’t like hurting your spouse, but there has been a serious shift in the way you feel. You love him/her, but it’s not the same love you felt before.

not in love

Back before when the two of you started out and you were so in love you couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt so much passion you wanted to be together all the time. There was no way you could have ever imagined you would one day lose that feeling, but you did.

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Oh God, I Can’t Do This On My Own

When I think of the countless men and women who are fighting to save their marriage, my heart breaks and my eyes fill with tears. I may not know who you are or exactly what your situation looks like, but I do know how it feels when you cry, “Oh God, I can’t do this on my own!”

The pain in your heart is deeper than words can convey and the waves of torment that floods your mind is too much to bear. You fight through rejection and confusion and there are times you simply want to give up, but you won’t. There are times you want to cave into anger and bitterness, but you know you can’t. And then there are times you just want to fall apart, but you don’t.

Oh God, I can't do this on my on

You fight, you stand, you hang on, because you believe in your marriage, because you love your spouse, because you love your family. Losing your spouse and family is not what you signed up for and you now find yourself going through HELL trying to keep your world from falling apart.

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Should You Try to Save Your Marriage

There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and save your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.

save your marriage

I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.

Your story may be different than what I went through trying to save my marriage. But I still know the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further. Then the next minute your heart is alive with the hope of your future if you can just hang on.

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Where Marriage Healing Begins

The desperation I felt to save our marriage was tremendous. I had waited so long for signs of hope and yet so many times it seemed my hopes were dashed. I had no problem accepting the fact that I had hurt our marriage. So all I could think of was trying to find some way to fix the problems I helped create.

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After a good while into our last separation, my wife finally decided to go see a counselor. There were a lot of issues she had been dealing with from her childhood and she finally reached a point where she said enough is enough. She wanted the stuff that had tormented her all of her life to be gone once and for all.

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