Truthfully, marriage is complex. It takes the complexity of many factors to make a marriage thrive the way God created it to. However, on this post today I want to discuss just one thing that should not be missing from your marriage. Because when it is missing, it makes the journey of marriage very difficult. At least it was for me.
The uncertainty that flooded my mind time after time in my marriage was torment. It reminds me of when I was a boy pulling petals off of flowers over a childhood sweetheart.
“She loves me, she loves me not; she loves me, she loves me not.”
The insecurity of not knowing if my wife would love me one day and then not love me the next was incredibly difficult to live with. It wasn’t that she was always giving me a reason to feel insecure. There was just always something missing in our relationship, something I didn’t know how to describe, but I knew it was missing.
As it turned out, it was the same thing Janet was always missing that made her feel so insecure about our relationship. And neither one of us knew how to fix the problem because we never really understood the problem. We had times when our love for each other seemed strong enough, yet we both lived with the nagging feelings of not knowing how long our love would last.
On a previous post, I Want To Know What Love Is, I made the statement, “not one time does the bible refer to love as being something you feel.” But after saying that and reading some things in the word this week I had to go back and edited that line. It now reads, “Not one time does the bible refer to love as something you only feel.” The important change I made was adding only.
I had to make that change because to be honest love is something we also feel. It is that thing inside us that causes us to say things like, “I love you and I want to marry you,” and “I have loved you for a very long time.” And when we do something that shows our love we explain, “I did it because I love you.”