There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and save your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.
I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.
Your story may be different than what I went through trying to save my marriage. But I still know the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further. Then the next minute your heart is alive with the hope of your future if you can just hang on.
There are times when your spouse has a lot to do with how much heartache or hope you feel. You hang on to every word and every action trying to read which direction your spouse will take. And then there are times when your spouse gives you no reason at all to hope but yet you have hope anyway.
Because I’ve been there I also know the decision to try to save your marriage is yours alone. I heard lots of doubters telling me I should just divorce my wife. And I heard very little encouragement telling me to keep believing.
But to be honest, my trying to save my marriage did not come from a conviction I had no choice; like God expected it from me. My decision came from two other strong convictions.
Reasons to save my marriage
First, I strongly did not want to ever go through a divorce. For me, the possibility of divorce was one of the worst things I could possibly face in life. So I don’t know if it was the fear of divorce or desire to be married for life. Either way, I wanted no part of it.
Secondly, I stood for our marriage out of my strong conviction that my wife was heading in a wrong direction. And if I didn’t, her life could have been in jeopardy. Or, at least filled with more heartache and disappointment.
So for me to stand or not stand for our marriage was a choice God gave me. I believed it was something He was asking me to do but was not demanding me to do. I felt the assurance from the Lord that my life was going to be okay as long as I held onto Him no matter what happened to our marriage.
There was even one time when I was worshiping the Lord and I felt the reality of divorce trying to grip my heart so bad I could hardly stand it. Then the Lord spoke to my heart and said His grace would see me through it. From that moment on the fear of divorce no longer tormented me.
We encourage to save marriages
So we write here on this blog, posts on Facebook, and tweet on Twitter to help encourage those of you who want to save your marriage. We believe in what you’re doing and we will continue to stand with you.
While at the same time I hope we do not come across as condemning or judgmental toward anyone who decides they can no longer stand. We are not blind to the fact that a lot of marriages will not make it.
It is not our job to decide whose marriage should be saved or not. Nor is it our job to say how far people can go in an effort to save their marriage. Our purpose is to share hope and encouragement to those who want to save their marriage. In the same way, we would encourage someone to pursue a dream, regardless of what the circumstances look like.
This type of encouragement may seem naive and foolish to some. But for anyone who has ever been faced with an impossible situation and seen it work out the way we have, they know what seems naive and foolish can actually be the best move they ever made.
No regrets, either way
I stood for my marriage and even if it had not worked out I would not have regretted giving it every possible chance I could. What I would have regretted was if I had given up on my marriage and then later realize it could have been saved if I had held on a little longer.
So this choice is yours. It is a choice you make between you and God. No one else can tell you what you should do. While at the same time, no one else will be accountable for the choice you make.
But if you’re looking for encouragement to keep standing no matter what the circumstances look like, then you’ve come to the right place. This is what we are here for. This is what Redeeming Marriages is about along with sharing truths to prevent marriages from breaking down in the first place.
Question: Is there something we can do to help you stand for your marriage? Let us know in the comments or contact us via email, we love hearing from you.