Day #10 of this series, Marriage Ministry, who needs it?
And God said, let a man and a woman have good sex, regularly, within the boundaries of marriage. And God blessed their sex and said it was good.
Okay, maybe you won’t find those exact words in Genesis 1 or 2. But if you study the scripture you will find that God did create us to enjoy our marriage with a healthy sex life. We were created to live life with passion and our sexual relationship in marriage should be a great expression of this passion.
Very often couples will come into our class with a sense of loss. Somewhere along the way on their journey of marriage they have lost their passion for each other. There lives have become either boring and predictable, or fast paced and over stressed. And as a result one of the first things to go is their sex life.
Sex in marriage is important
Whenever a couple struggles with their sex life and they start loosing their passion for each other, it is very important that they take definite and intentional steps to resolve their problems. Couples can’t afford to play around with this. That is why the word of God gives us some specific instructions on how we are to relate sexually to one another in our marriage.
Here are a few of those instructions the word teaches and what most marriage ministries base their teachings on.
- Sex was commanded by God from the beginning:Genesis 1:27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth …………”
- Sex has a purpose that can only be fulfill in marriage:Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
- Sex is for intimacy:Genesis 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
- Sex is for pleasure:Proverbs 5:19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.
- Sex is to be consistent:1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
- Sex is holy:Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
An important lesson we learned
The one important lesson we learned and we eagerly share with any couple who will listen is this.
- Men need sex to feel intimate.
- Women need intimacy to want sex.
What I mean is this. There was a time when we struggled with this because we were not always on the same page. Then as the Lord began healing our marriage and we were able to discuss these issues, we discovered these truths.
For a wife to even get in the mood to have sex she usually needs to be aroused by tender loving care. She needs to feel close to her man so that she can be physically turned on. But, for a husband to feel close to his wife he needs the satisfaction of sexual fulfillment.
This is a great mystery of balance and mutual submission when both a husband and wife learn to give what their partner needs in exchange for getting what they need.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to post your comments. We would love to hear from you.