I wrote an article awhile back called Why Marriage Restoration Should Not Be Your First Priority. I wrote that to express how knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior is far more important than overcoming marriage trouble. Because a few times I have dealt with someone wanting help to save their marriage. While at the same time they had no interest in knowing Jesus or allowing Jesus to help them. For them, their marriage restoration was more important than a relationship with God.
Then, recently I heard from a man who has been struggling to restore his marriage. He told me about his prayers and how he has been seeking God for answers. He said God has given him peace even though his situation hasn’t improved. And then he told me how someone else has accused him of putting his marriage first, instead of his relationship with God. Read more
I recently heard a minister on the radio say “no Spirit-filled couple has ever divorced.” When I heard that I had to stop for a minute to consider what he said. Then when I thought about what the scripture teaches I had to agree with him.
I’ll explain why this is true. But first I will clarify what this is not saying. This statement is not saying a Spirit-filled person will never go through a divorce. There are many people that have been through a divorce that gave their best to God and their marriage. The divorce was against their will. It happened because of what was wrong in their spouse’s heart. One person living a Spirit-filled life is not enough for a Spirit-filled marriage. It takes two to make this statement true. Read more
I want to get this straight right from the start. I agree, your marriage is important. And if your marriage is in trouble that means your marriage restoration is a high priority in your life. But I do not believe your marriage restoration should be your first priority.
I understand what you’re going through. The heartache and confusion of a marriage crisis are the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with. But, when I talk about your marriage crisis I have to talk about your relationship with Jesus. Your marriage restoration should not be your first priority.
Jesus has to be your first priority
There are many husbands and wives who think their marriage was a mistake. They’re looking back with regret at their decision to marry. And they’re wondering now if there is some reasonable way they can correct their mistake. They don’t want to hurt their spouse, their children, or their family. But they just can’t imagine having to live with their mistake for the rest of their lives.
Maybe, this is the way you feel. Or, maybe you have a strong sense this is the way your spouse feels.
In either case, I understand this line of thinking. I’ve been there, on both sides. So I’m not here to pass judgment on anyone for feeling this way.
However, I do want to challenge this way of thinking and the reasonings that go along with it. Read more
Does the problem you’re dealing with look like a mountain in front of you? Maybe, you’re having trouble in your marriage. And the problem is bigger than what you think you can handle. Or, maybe you’re facing some other mountain size problem that is putting a strain on your marriage.
Whatever the problem may be, I want you to know I understand how you feel. I have felt that way many times, in my marriage and with other battles that affected my marriage. Many times I have felt like the problem was like a huge mountain in front of me.
But whenever I think a problem looks as big as a mountain I’m reminded of what Jesus said about moving a mountain. Read more
Your marriage covenant is not an entitlement. And you should not take it for granted. You don’t get to say vows before a minister and expect that to be your guarantee to lifelong marriage. It takes more than that.
I believe many marriages are a lot less than they should be because people treat their marriage covenant as an entitlement. Their chase is over. They have what they wanted. Now they don’t have to give their marriage the same work they did when they were dating. When their former boyfriend or girlfriend had the freedom to walk away.
We believe in covenant 100%
It’s easy to find yourself in a fight with your spouse without knowing how to let it go. You know you don’t want to be fighting. But the thing you’re fighting over seems too important, so you believe you must stand your ground. When this happens you need to know there are times when you have to lose the battle to save what you love.
There is a story in the bible that I think sets a great example for couples to follow. It’s a story that demonstrates the wisdom of king Solomon and how he resolved the conflict of two women. Read more
I came to the place in my life that I could no longer run from the pain. My life was a mess and I needed help. I had stuffed all my pain and hurt deep inside from the wounds from others and wounds that were self-inflicted. So I turned to a counselor to help me out of my prison.
I was dealing with abandonment issues from both my mother and my father. I had been abused from early childhood through my adult life. Three different men molested me from age 6 till 11. One of the men did it more than 20 times. I was date raped twice when I was a teenager. I was physically abused by my father and a couple of times in my first marriage. And I dealt with emotional abuse from my father, my first husband, and in my marriage with Jack. Read more
The challenges we face in life are tough sometimes. Challenges with our health, our job, our children, or our marriage are the type of challenges almost everyone will have to deal with at one point or another. But in every challenge, we face we have to make a conscious decision. Will we choose to let the situation make us better, or will we let it make us bitter?
I’ve seen the importance of this choice time after time. Not only in my own life, but also in the lives of many others. And every time a person allows themselves to become bitter there is always a severe price that comes with making the wrong choice. Let me share a few examples. Read more