When I think of the countless men and women who are fighting to save their marriage, my heart breaks and my eyes fill with tears. I may not know who you are or exactly what your situation looks like, but I do know how it feels when you cry, “Oh God, I can’t do this on my own!”
The pain in your heart is deeper than words can convey and the waves of torment that flood your mind are too much to bear. You fight through rejection and confusion and there are times you simply want to give up, but you won’t. There are times you want to cave into anger and bitterness, but you know you can’t. And then there are times you just want to fall apart, but you don’t.
You fight, you stand, you hang on because you believe in your marriage because you love your spouse because you love your family. Losing your spouse and family is not what you signed up for and you now find yourself going through HELL trying to keep your world from falling apart.
But this mountain is too big, this giant is too strong, so you cry out to God for help. Because you know you can’t do this without Him. You need His strength just to face another day. You need His comfort to soothe the pain in your heart. You need His peace to calm the storm in your mind. You are finding more and more every day that you need the Lord as you have never needed Him before.
Does this sound like you? Is this where you are at? I don’t want to come across as insensitive or uncaring, because I do care. You are the reason we do what we do with this ministry God has given us.
So I have to encourage you today with this.
If you are in a place where you’re crying out to God and are letting Him know how you can’t do this without Him. If you have reached an end of what is possible for you and all you have left is your total dependence on the Lord, then I have to say, “great.” This is right where you need to be.
If this battle you’re in has brought you to where you are totally dependent on Jesus. If you are saying you can’t make it without Him, you can’t live without Him, you can’t breathe without Him. If your life has now become completely and wholeheartedly surrendered to Him. Then let me be so bold and say this is a great place for you to be.
Don’t get me wrong. I am so sorry your marriage is in trouble. And I do pray and hope your situation turns around. But I can’t tell you enough how much this place of going deeper in your relationship with the Lord will mean to you for the rest of your life. I honestly believe my walk with the Lord would not be what it is today if I had not been through what you’re going through now.
At the risk of sounding overconfident or naive, I really do believe if my marriage had not been restored I would still say the same. Because I know how real God became to me during those dark days. I can still feel how He comforted me when my heart was breaking. I’m still thankful for how it felt to know the Lord was with me and would not forsake me even when I felt forsaken by my wife. And the places where I went to spend time with God will always have a special place in my heart, such as the spot where I stood by the river on many occasions in the photo below.
I have felt the Lord’s peace and love flood over me when I thought I would lose my mind from the pain I was going through. I have heard His word speaking into my heart when I needed direction for the steps I needed to take. I have heard His loving words correcting me when I was wrong. And while I needed to know I was wrong I was also encouraged to know He was correcting me as His son. (Hebrews 12:6-7)
So again, I pray God has His way with your marriage. I hope to hear many more testimonies just like ours, of what God has done to bring restoration into marriages everywhere.
But I hope and pray for more than your marriage restoration. I also pray that every part of you that thinks you can do this without God will be completely surrendered to Him. And I pray that as much as you love your spouse and you want your marriage to be restored, may your relationship with the Lord always be more important to you than anything else.