What if You’re Not “IN LOVE” Anymore

“I love you, but I’m not “IN LOVE” with you.”

You want your spouse to know you really do care for him/her. The two of you have shared so much together, so naturally, you still love them as a person. You’re not cold-hearted and you don’t like hurting your spouse, but there has been a serious shift in the way you feel. You love him/her, but it’s not the same love you felt before.

not in love

Back before when the two of you started out and you were so in love you couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt so much passion you wanted to be together all the time. There was no way you could have ever imagined you would one day lose that feeling, but you did.

Oh God, I Can’t Do This On My Own

When I think of the countless men and women who are fighting to save their marriage, my heart breaks and my eyes fill with tears. I may not know who you are or exactly what your situation looks like, but I do know how it feels when you cry, “Oh God, I can’t do this on my own!”

The pain in your heart is deeper than words can convey and the waves of torment that floods your mind is too much to bear. You fight through rejection and confusion and there are times you simply want to give up, but you won’t. There are times you want to cave into anger and bitterness, but you know you can’t. And then there are times you just want to fall apart, but you don’t.

Oh God, I can't do this on my on

You fight, you stand, you hang on, because you believe in your marriage, because you love your spouse, because you love your family. Losing your spouse and family is not what you signed up for and you now find yourself going through HELL trying to keep your world from falling apart.

Is Your Heart Broken For The Right Reason

Is the marriage crisis you’re dealing with breaking your heart? Do you feel like your world is shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.

heart broken for the right reasons

Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear, all a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is trying to survive it.

But I have another question for you, a question I believe that can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.

Living With Regrets

For most of my adult life I have been living with regrets over the mistakes and bad decisions I have made in the past. It seems my thoughts are always dwelling on some sort of “I should have done that differently,” “if I had known what I know now I could have ……….,” or “I would have made a different choice if I had …………”

 

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It’s the old Should-a-Could-a-Would-a thing that I get caught up in. And sometimes I don’t just visit the land of Should-a-Could-a-Would-a, sometimes I tend to live there for long periods of time. And when I go there, not only is it a place of torment for me, it is also a miserable place for my wife to have deal with me when I’m there.

 

6 Truths About Monitoring Your Spouse’s Behavior

733427_57979631I remember when I was a kid the first time I was appointed to be the class monitor. It was first grade and I was the new kid in school after my parents moved us to a new city half way through that first year. The teacher had to leave the classroom and so as she named me the classroom monitor she gave me the instructions of keeping a watch on the rest of my classmates and report back to her any bad behavior such as talking or getting out of their seats. I didn’t like the job. I wanted all of the other kids in class to like me and I thought for sure that being a classroom monitor would be held against me.

“They Didn’t Even Smell of Smoke!”

SmokeDaniel 3:27 (NLT) “Then the high officers, officials, governors, and advisers crowded around them and saw that the fire had not touched them. Not a hair on their heads was singed, and their clothing was not scorched. They didn’t even smell of smoke!”

One thing we encounter a lot when helping couples get through their marriage troubles is the feeling of despair. Very often we will hear a husband, a wife, or both express to us that they just don’t see how they can ever get past what has happened to their marriage. There may have been affairs, abuse, or some other type of betrayal that has cut them to their very core and it has made it nearly impossible for them to believe that their marriage could ever be whole again. And even though they are attempting to save their marriage they are also wrestling with the agonizing question of, “will I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life?”

Just Say No To Naysayers

“Will anyone support my decision to try to save my marriage?” This was the thought that ran through my head time after time as family and friends continued to discourage the position I took to save my marriage. I was believing for a miracle turnaround, but most of my loved ones thought I was a fool. The naysayers almost got the best of me.

no to naysayers

I understood the naysayers were only concerned about my well-being. They did not want to see me hurt more than I already was. And the truth is if I had wanted to end my marriage I would have appreciated their support for that.

Love Redeems

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13

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 “knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers,19 but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.” 1 Peter 1:18-19