Is there anyone praying for you? When you’re going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God. Who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?
I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day, getting advice is good and is sometimes needed.
But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone. Knowing there are other people who have your back. And they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.
It is one of those precious treasures that will stay with you for the rest of your life. When you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you. The ones who were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.
Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me. More than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who passed away almost three years ago was that someone for me. I knew without a doubt he was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.
Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through. I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere and unbiased. He was in his third marriage. And after two failed marriages, he was able to share from a deep well of experience and wisdom. Read more
We are all about encouraging husbands and wives who struggle with difficult marriages. We believe commitment, hope, and perseverance go a long way in helping couples get past their difficult season and on to the marriage they have always wanted.
But there is a serious issue of abusiveness that is facing far too many marriages today. This issue should never be ignored or overlooked, by the men and women who find themselves in an abusive relationship, nor by the rest of us who have a voice to speak out against it.
On this final post of this series on difficult marriage I need to deal with why men and women need to recognize when Difficult Marriage is Really an Abusive Marriage. Because once this line has been crossed the approach to dealing with the marriage crisis must change.
Sometimes marriage difficulty can be so great all you can think about is running away. On one hand you don’t want to give up on your marriage, but on the other you just don’t know how much you can bear.
Honestly, during the difficult times of my own marriage there were many times I felt like giving up. Yes, I was committed for life and I did stand for my marriage when we were near divorce. But the truth is, it was very difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up.
There were times when we were not on the verge of breaking up and yet still the struggle to have a happy marriage was more than I could handle sometimes. Then there were times when I had to fight to save our marriage while at the same time I battled against feelings of hopelessness and many times thought the best thing for me to do would be to move on. And there were times when I felt so much anger and resentment I really didn’t care if my marriage survived or not. Read more
You know you would like to have a marriage you have always dreamed of having but somewhere along the way the challenges of life has got into your marriage. And now you find yourself not knowing how to improve your difficult marriage.
On our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge for anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.
And as I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it.”
But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered Read more
A difficult marriage is a hard thing to endure. The stress of bickering and division never seems to end. Sometimes there may be moments of hope because love and peace seemed to be restored. But that hope quickly fades as another day presents another challenge and with the challenge husband and wife fall right back into their ruts of strife, anger, hurt, and confusion. And sadly too many men and women who have this type of marriage have no idea they don’t have to settle for it.
For 19 years I was willing to settle for a difficult marriage. For the most part I was always blind to how troubled my marriage was. I knew it was normal for couples to argue and have disagreements so I thought what was going on in my marriage was just as normal as anyone else’s. I was committed to being married for life even if I didn’t like the condition of my marriage. Read more
“If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:25
Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. It’s the union of two unique individuals blending their lives together to become as the bible says, “one flesh.” This unity does not happen when husbands and wives become the same in every way possible. True unity in marriage is established and held together when couples celebrate what they share in common while at the same time learn to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Couples that strive to become “one flesh” know there is beauty and strength in both their sameness and in their differences.
But there is something seriously wrong in a marriage the moment a couple begins allowing their differences to become a place of division. When their differences become a place of contention and dispute their marriage is put in serious jeopardy. Because when division is accepted and tolerated in their relationship they open up the door for greater trouble in their marriage.
Everyday marriages all over the world are being destroyed by a single killer. This killer morphs in many forms and works in various ways, but make no mistake the threat of this thing is very real and very dangerous. If this killer is not able to destroy a marriage it will at the very least render a marriage powerless to reach the full potential it was designed to be.
I’m angry about what this killer has done to hurt so many marriages and I’m passionate about being part of an army who aims to defeat this enemy of marriages.
Now when I tell you the name of this marriage destroyer, I hope you don’t overlook the danger behind its simplistic name. And I hope you’re not offended by what I’m saying here. I hope you understand I’m trying to help us all. I’m not trying to point the finger at anybody and I’m not trying to put people down. This thing nearly destroyed my own marriage and in some ways I know it can still threaten us today.
The words “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” have been said many times by one spouse to another trying to explain the current condition of their emotions. And sadly those words have been used over and over again as an explanation for why one spouse has decided to give up on their marriage.
But as I said in our last post, there is something terribly flawed with this way of thinking. And if this is the way you’re feeling about your spouse and your marriage right now, I want to send out a warning to you.
Chasing after this type of emotion is very dangerous. Not only is it a threat to your current marriage, this type of thinking threatens any future hope you may have for a lasting relationship.
Many of you who follow our blog are facing some of the hardest decisions you have ever had to make. Along with all the heartache you feel because of your broken marriage, you also have some agonizing questions that need to be answered.
Should you stand for a marriage that looks impossible to save? If so, how long should you stand? Or in your situation, is it God’s will for you to stand for your marriage at all? When the bible says “God hates divorce,” does that mean He will condemn you for not doing all you can to stop it from happening? And what if your marriage does end in divorce, is it wrong for you to remarry someday?
For people who love God and value the bible as the Word of God, the questions you are facing are very serious questions that cannot be taken lightly. You search the scripture for answers that apply to what you’re dealing with. And because you don’t want to get this wrong you seek out godly counsel to help you navigate your way through this. But still if you look hard enough you can find lots of people who love God and love the Word of God and yet they are divided over these questions.
Early this week I read an article on Sheila Wray Gregoire’s website To Love, Honor and Vacuum, called Reader Question: When Do I Give Up Trying to Get My Ex Back? I thought it was an excellent article. One that helps answer some of the same questions our readers are asking.