Sharing hope and strength for marriages with the power of God's redeeming love.

Posts tagged oneness

What Does a Good Marriage Look Like?

The desire for a good marriage is a strong desire for most people. I don’t know of anyone that is married, or hopes to be married one day that doesn’t desire for their marriage to be good. But how do you know if you have a good marriage if you’re not sure what a good marriage looks like?

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Sure, it’s easy to look around and compare your marriage with some other couple who appear to have a good marriage to see if you have what they seem to have. READ MORE »

Two Steps of Grace for Reacting to Criticism

This is part three of a three-part series on constructive criticism. On part one, “How Do You Handle Constructive Criticism?” I talked about how valuable constructive criticism can be in a marriage if it is handled properly. I shared an eye-opening experience I had in my own marriage. And I shared from our experience of ministering to other couples how valuable it is to properly handle constructive criticism.

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Then on part two, “Confront Your Spouse with Love” I went into more depth on how to give constructive criticism without doing damage to your spouse and your marriage. I talked about some very important guidelines of what to do, and what not to do when presenting your grievance to your spouse.

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Confront Your Spouse With Love

Confronting your spouse about an important issue that must be addressed is a very difficult thing to do. And if it is not done properly and with love the results can take your marriage in the wrong direction. But when it is done right it will add a greater dimension of intimacy in your marriage.

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On our post, How Do You Handle Constructive Criticism? I talked about the importance of handling constructive criticism well and the value it can add to your marriage. On this post I want to be very specific about how to confront your spouse without causing more damage to your relationship.

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5 Reasons Why Dating is So Important

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33 Years and Still Dating. This Valentine’s Day, Janet and I plan to go on a date for the evening. This will be our 33rd Valentine’s date and for us it is always a little extra special because it is also the anniversary of our first date. Although we do not plan to go to the drive-in movies like we did that night way back then, we do plan to do something that is just for the two of us.

But the truth is, we don’t just date on Valentine’s Day, our birthdays, or our wedding anniversary. No, we try to make dating a regular part of our life. We don’t get to go out to dinner once a week like some of our friends do, but we do go as often as we can.

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How S-N-O-W Can Spell Love

I know snow can mean a lot of things to different people. Some people just don’t like the snow at all and some experience so much snow that it makes life miserable and even life threatening.

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But my wife can’t get enough snow. To her it just doesn’t get any better than to have a few inches of snow on the ground and snow hanging from the trees like a winter wonderland. READ MORE »

Is It Possible For Marriage To BE Perfect

This post is on “why I still believe in marriage” and is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which we are delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!  


 

I have come to believe that I can truthfully say my marriage is perfect. Now I know that sounds like a very bold statement. And I know some may think that is a very naive statement. But please hear me out on this.1422245_37709115

There is one single reason I believe my marriage is perfect and I will give you that reason. But first let me tell you what I’m not saying.

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Secrets For a Great Marriage From a Former Unhappy Wife

This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which we are delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!  

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One of the hardest things I have had to come to terms with in my life is the fact that I spent nineteen years of my marriage being an unhappy wife when all along I could have been a very happy wife. I’ve had to mourn those wasted years. There gone now and there is nothing I can do to get them back. That’s why I am so thankful the Lord is redeeming that time for us.

Though if I could, I would go back and talk with my former self. Because there are some things I would like for her to know. There are some things I would like to say to her to encourage her and reassure her. So I would say…. READ MORE »

Get Passion Back into Your Marriage

You don’t have to settle for a marriage where you no longer feel passionate for each other. It doesn’t have to be that way. And you don’t have to dismiss a lack of passion in your marriage as something that passes with time. It is possible to keep the passion going for as long as you both shall live.

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Janet and I are living proof that passion can be reborn in a marriage and it can be sustained for a lifetime. This week we will celebrate our thirty-first anniversary and we are probably more passionate for each other today than we ever have been, in spite of the fact that for many years we struggled to even like each other. And even if you have lost the passion you once had for each other, it is possible to Get Passion Back into Your Marriage.

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Can You Balance Your Partnership and Friendship?

ID-10028447Every marriage should have a good balance of partnership and friendship. It is difficult and there are many couples who fail at it everyday, but it is possible.

Marriage is the only relationship where we should have both partnership and friendship. Ordinarily in any other relationship it is considered unwise to mix the two. A business partnership that starts from friendship will usually hurt the friendship and a partnership that develops into friendship can hurt the partnership. Unless everyone understands the difference and they are able to balance the two properly.

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How do You Build a Great Friendship with Your Spouse

13369_5334A few weeks ago I wrote a post, How Are You Two Related? where I started talking about how in order to have a good relationship we have to look at how well we relate to each other. Then on our last post, How Do You Relate? As Friends, Partners, Lovers, or All Three? I talked about how there are three major ways for us to relate to our spouse and the three types of love that go along with those ways of relating to each other.

Now on this post I wanted to dig deeper on the subject of relating to each other as friends. But as I looked back at a previous post I did last year, Becoming Best Friends for Life, I felt there is really not that much I would say differently than I did then. So I thought the best thing to do here is to share an edited excerpt from that post.

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Friendship in marriage is real important. It’s that place in marriage where two people are joined together in a way that they not only love each other, they really like each other.

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Give Your Best Gift

ID-100113555Romantic dinner for two. Check.

Nice Jewelry. Check.

Beautiful flowers. Check.

A box of chocolate. Check.

Sexy lingerie. Check.

A thoughtful card. Always.

A surprise weekend getaway for just us. With a  candlelit room, rose pedals everywhere and Kenny G music playing softly. Yea, I’ve done that too.

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Make Valentine’s Day Memorable

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Our anniversary is coming up this week, but it is not our wedding anniversary. It’s the anniversary of our first date, Valentine’s Day 1981.

There were a lot of memorable moments about that first date, some good and some not so good. But the one thing that still stands out to us today is the way we thought of each other as being the best person we had ever had a date with. Even as I was getting ready for our date that night I was overwhelmed with an excitement I had never felt before.

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Is Your Spouse Good Enough?

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How does your spouse measure up? Is there something about your spouse you wish you could change? Is there something about them that drives you mad? Or have you reached a point where you find it hard to see anything good about them at all?

If this is you and you find yourself feeling disappointed because your spouse is not everything you expected them to be, you could be heading down a dangerous road right now. There are many reasons for a marriage to fall apart. But one of the most subtle ways that goes unnoticed is when a wedge is driven between husband and wife over lingering disappointments in each other.

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Tips to Keep Your Marriage from Drifting Apart

Couples sometimes need some help to keep their love from fading and their relationship from drifting apart. Drifting apart is all too real for so many couples and I would go so far to say, it is something that happens to all couples at one time or another.

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The key is knowing why it happens and what you can do to change it.

Why do we drift?

The word of God teaches us, (Gen.2:24) that marriage requires for a man and a woman to be joined together, and they become one flesh.  The KJV bible uses the word cleave for joined together. Other translations use the words embraces, united, and cling. The picture here is that the covenant marriage relationship is to create a bond of oneness that is so tight there can be no separating what used to be two.

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Is Your Marriage a Treasure or a Field?

Matthew 13:44 NASB

“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

Recently our Pastor has been teaching from this scripture and his messages have been eye-opening and very thought-provoking. He has taught us there is a principle here that Jesus used to teach about the Kingdom. And this same principle also applies to practically everything in our lives.

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Committed to a Covenant

On our last post Getting That Stubborn Stain Out, I introduced the idea of using COFHE to deal with those STUBBORN MARRIAGE
PROBLEMS. With each letter representing an important step to dealing with marriage conflict; C – commitment, O – ownership, F – forgiveness, H – hope, and E – empathy. On this post I will focus on commitment. There is a lot to say, so let’s jump in.

C is for COMMITMENT.

Commitment in marriage is an absolute essential for a marriage to last. It’s the promise we make to each other, “until death do us part,” that gives us the hope of going the distance of being married for life. And even if we are challenged with very difficult circumstances, it is this promise of commitment that sees us through. In Life decisions, I talked about my own hopes for a lifelong marriage and how commitment seen me through some difficult times. All marriages start out with this vision of going the distance of being married for life. READ MORE »

Caution: Drifting May Cause Severe Damage

We just keep drifting more and more apart. If things continue like this, I don’t see how our marriage can survive.”

It is a tragic thing when love fades. When two people who once had all the love and hope for a beautiful life together, to one day look at each other and wonder where their love and admiration for each other has gone.

It didn’t fade overnight, it didn’t happen over a one time event. They just slowly drifted away from each other until one day their feelings for each other are so drastically different from what they once had, they feel there is no hope of getting it back.  READ MORE »

Easy as one, two, three. pt. 2

It takes two to make a marriage,” was the words I heard that were meant to ridicule me for the way I had treated my marriage. And in fact, those words did strike a nerve with me. Those words did remind me of how much I had failed my marriage. I was the one who still wanted to be married, but I really had no idea what it took to “make a marriage.”   READ MORE »

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