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We Need Peacemakers When There is Division

I am grieved by the troubles in our world today. Everywhere we turn people are against one another. There are divisions over race, religious views, political views, social and economic status. And for many of us there is division in our own families. So I think everyone would agree, we need peacemakers.

we need peacemakers

I know this is a marriage blog and so I’m not trying to turn this into a current events article. But I believe some of the lessons we try to communicate to marriages, we can also apply to the world around us. After all, marriage is all about the journey of becoming united as one flesh. So why wouldn’t the same principles of unity work for our world around us? Read more

4 Reasons Why It’s Wrong To Fight Over Who’s Right

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse and can’t remember what you started arguing about? Have you ever thought if you apologize and admit you were wrong, it could make you look weak? I must confess, before the Lord brought healing into our lives and marriage, I used to struggle with this way of thinking quite a bit. That’s why I want to share with you why I now believe it is extremely wrong to fight over who is right.

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For many years I was easily caught in this scenario of fighting to prove I was right. It didn’t matter what the argument was about, I was determined from the beginning to prove my points and to prove I was right. And if it ever appeared Read more

How Old Arguments Have Lingering Effects

Every now and then Janet and I discover that one or both of us still struggle with some lingering effect from the bad years of our marriage. about the things we have done to each other and to our marriage. So I want to share with you how our old arguments and constant fighting did more damage than I would’ve ever thought possible.

old arguments

Now I don’t want to give the wrong message here and cause discouragement to those still hoping to restore their marriage. Janet and I have overcome a lot and we are much better off having stayed together than we would have been if we had parted ways. It’s not that our marriage is in trouble or that it is threatened by our past. It’s just sometimes damage can take more work to overcome than anyone would have imagined.

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Why Marriage Restoration is Better Than a Brand New Marriage

There is something special about brand new. When something brand new comes in your life there are special feelings that come with it. A new car, a new house, new clothes, new tools, new appliances, all share in common that special feeling.

marriage restoration

The same can be said about a new marriage. There is excitement and hopeful anticipation for what the future will hold. You don’t know everything this new journey will encounter. But you believe the two of you together can conquer the world.

A brand new marriage, whether it’s the first, second, third or whatever, feels like a new start. There is no bad history, bad memories, or bad feelings between husband and wife. They can take everything they know about life and relationships and apply it to this new marriage. And everything should work out just fine.

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Why My Wife is My Hero of Faith

Many believers have certain people come to mind when they think about great faith. Great men and women of the bible and all throughout the ages there have been countless examples of great faith demonstrated in individual lives during extraordinary times.

Over the years I have also looked to and admired many different examples of great faith that have often encouraged me through difficult times. But the one example that has come to mean the most to me, is my wife. Janet’s story of faith has certainly benefited and blessed my life in a very personal way. But also whenever I step back and look at her story as a whole and I see what role faith has played in her life, when I do that, I’m always overwhelmed with admiration for her.

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You see, so often people hear the basics of our story of how we were near divorce 4 different times, and how each time it was Janet who wanted out of our marriage and it was me who fought to save our marriage, and because of that people think I’m the hero of our story. But I cannot tell you how far from the truth that view of our story really is.

So I’ll tell you why My Wife is My Hero of Faith Read more

Should You Stand for Your Marriage

There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and believe for the restoration of your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.

I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.

 

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Your story may be different from what I went through, but I understand the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further, then the next minute your heart is so alive with the hope of your future as long as you can just hang on a little longer.

I know there are times when your spouse has a lot to do with how much heartache or hope you feel. You hang on to every little word and every little action trying to read into which direction your spouse will take. And then there are times when your spouse gives you no reason at all to hope but yet you have hope anyway.
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This One Thing Is Destroying Marriages Everyday

Everyday marriages all over the world are being destroyed by a single killer. This killer morphs in many forms and works in various ways, but make no mistake the threat of this thing is very real and very dangerous. If this killer is not able to destroy a marriage it will at the very least render a marriage powerless to reach the full potential it was designed to be.

I’m angry about what this killer has done to hurt so many marriages and I’m passionate about being part of an army who aims to defeat this enemy of marriages.

One thing destroying marriages

Now when I tell you the name of this marriage destroyer, I hope you don’t overlook the danger behind its simplistic name. And I hope you’re not offended by what I’m saying here. I hope you understand I’m trying to help us all. I’m not trying to point the finger at anybody and I’m not trying to put people down. This thing nearly destroyed my own marriage and in some ways I know it can still threaten us today.

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This Should Not Be Missing From Your Marriage

Truthfully, marriage is complex. It takes the complexity of many factors to make a marriage thrive the way God created it to. However, on this post today I want to discuss just one thing that should not be missing from your marriage. Because when it is missing, it makes the journey of marriage very difficult. At least it was for me.

The uncertainty that flooded my mind time after time in my marriage was torment. It reminds me of when I was a boy pulling petals off of flowers over a childhood sweetheart.

“She loves me, she loves me not; she loves me, she loves me not.”

missing from marriage

The insecurity of not knowing if my wife would love me one day and then not love me the next was incredibly difficult to live with. It wasn’t that she was always giving me a reason to feel insecure. There was just always something missing in our relationship, something I didn’t know how to describe, but I knew it was missing.

As it turned out, it was the same thing Janet was always missing that made her feel so insecure about our relationship. And neither one of us knew how to fix the problem because we never really understood the problem. We had times when our love for each other seemed strong enough, yet we both lived with the nagging feelings of not knowing how long our love would last.

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What Does Your Future Hold

When you don’t know where you’re going, chances are you will never get there. Drifting along life’s currents and allowing the winds of circumstances to dictate your life gives you very little chance of doing anything significant in life. This is true for all of life as well as it is in marriage.

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If you want to build a great marriage, you have to be intentional. If you want to restore a marriage that is broken, you have to do your part with purpose. If you want the dreams you have for your future to come true, you have to put deliberate actions in place to make things happen.

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