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We Need Peacemakers When There is Division

I am grieved by the troubles in our world today. Everywhere we turn people are against one another. There are divisions over race, religious views, political views, social and economic status. And for many of us there is division in our own families. So I think everyone would agree, we need peacemakers.

we need peacemakers

I know this is a marriage blog and so I’m not trying to turn this into a current events article. But I believe some of the lessons we try to communicate to marriages, we can also apply to the world around us. After all, marriage is all about the journey of becoming united as one flesh. So why wouldn’t the same principles of unity work for our world around us? Read more

Are You Trying to Change, or Are You Just Smoothing Things Over

Do you want to know the reason it took 4 times of almost getting a divorce before our marriage straighten out? Do you want to know what had to change before we could have the marriage we both wanted? The thing that had to change was I had to stop trying to just smooth things over.

real change is not just smoothing things over

There was a cycle we were going through and it was because of the things I kept doing wrong. Time after time I kept finding a way to undo all the previous good I did to fix our marriage. Each time after we reached our breaking point I would begin to do everything I could to become a better husband. I didn’t want our marriage to end so I tried to change and I thought I was making some serious progress. But in the end, all I was doing was going through my own cycle.

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Why I Want The Enemy of My Marriage To Die

There’s an enemy that keeps trying to destroy my marriage and I’m so tired of him I really want him to die. Year after year I’ve seen this guy show up with his bag of tricks trying to drive a wedge between my wife and I. He doesn’t seem to care who gets hurt just as long as he gets his way. And no matter how hard I try to kill him, he keeps coming back.

enemy of my marriage

Now, I’ve always wanted to do my best to protect my wife from any threat of danger. As a husband I consider this one of my greatest responsibilities. But I’ve discovered a terrible irony I constantly have to deal with. There are times where I am the guy I most desperately need to protect my wife from. So, the most dangerous threat to my marriage has always been the enemy I find that lives within me. Or, the enemy in-a-me. Read more

10 Reasons Why Thankfulness is Good for Your Marriage

Here in the US one of our favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. It’s a time for family gatherings filled with traditions, some overindulgence of great food, and a time of reflection for the many blessings we have to be thankful for.

thankfulness

Unfortunately for far too many of us we can easily overlook the part of reflection and thankfulness. We allow Thanksgiving and the Christmas season become a time of crazy busyness and rush. And we forget how valuable it is to take time out for giving thanks. And definitely if our life is in a bad season we often lose sight of what we have to be thankful for.

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Finding the Love You Want…and Deserve

[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”auto” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]Today we have a quest post from a dear friend of ours, Giovanna Burgess Geathers LPC. We hope you will be blessed with what she has to share. [/dropshadowbox]

The Fairytale

Recently, I had the pleasure of seeing the Broadway production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella starring Keke Palmer and Nene Leakes. Although I love the Cinderella story and the play itself was astounding, it still caused me to reflect on the number of women I know personally and professionally who are still believing that they are going to be rescued by a handsome prince who will whisk them away to the land of happily ever after and make all of their dreams come true.

finding love

 

 

Image courtesy of meepoohfoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

 

Perhaps even more sadly are the number of women who have completely trashed the concept of Cinderella and the land of happily ever after and chosen instead to reside in the land of just enough, not enough, never enough and had enough.

The reality is that although many women from different “villages”, cultures, and backgrounds may share the common goal of finding and enjoying a healthy, meaningful relationship, many are discovering that “happily ever after” really does not exist…except in fairytales.

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When a Difficult Marriage is Really an Abusive Marriage

We are all about encouraging husbands and wives who struggle with difficult marriages. We believe commitment, hope, and perseverance go a long way in helping couples get past their difficult season and on to the marriage they have always wanted.

But there is a serious issue of abusiveness that is facing far too many marriages today. This issue should never be ignored or overlooked, by the men and women who find themselves in an abusive relationship, nor by the rest of us who have a voice to speak out against it.

Really an Abusive Marriage

On this final post of this series on difficult marriage I need to deal with why men and women need to recognize when Difficult Marriage is Really an Abusive Marriage. Because once this line has been crossed the approach to dealing with the marriage crisis must change.

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The Real War in Marriage

There is a war that goes on in marriage, but I believe way too many people misunderstand what the real war in marriage is all about.

 

 

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I remember how offended I felt when someone I knew posted a statement on Facebook that said, “marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” For them it was meant to be a joke and so my response to them was a little too harsh because I wanted them to take their marriage more serious.

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Two Steps of Grace for Reacting to Criticism

This is part three of a three-part series on constructive criticism. On part one, “How Do You Handle Constructive Criticism?” I talked about how valuable constructive criticism can be in a marriage if it is handled properly. I shared an eye-opening experience I had in my own marriage. And I shared from our experience of ministering to other couples how valuable it is to properly handle constructive criticism.

criticism 

Then on part two, “Confront Your Spouse with Love” I went into more depth on how to give constructive criticism without doing damage to your spouse and your marriage. I talked about some very important guidelines of what to do, and what not to do when presenting your grievance to your spouse.

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How Do You Handle Constructive Criticism?

It is not easy to receive criticism even when it is constructive, especially when it comes from your spouse, the one you want nothing less than absolute acceptance and approval from. And it is not easy to give constructive criticism to your spouse without hurting your spouse’s feelings and coming across as disapproving and rejecting. But knowing how to give and receive constructive criticism is desperately needed for a marriage to grow in oneness as God has intended.

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The struggle with feeling critical toward one another is very real in marriage, I don’t think anyone is immune from it. So the challenge we all face is knowing how to guard against allowing criticism to be used in a negative way that is hurtful and harmful to our marriage. While at the same time allowing constructive criticism to be used in a way that promotes growth and encouragement.

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