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New Life Starts When Old Life Ends

Twas the night before Thanksgiving when husband and wife were at it again. We were fighting up a storm, no thought of how it would end. Cutting words were flying with no reasoning in sight. We brought down our marriage using anger and spite. Then with one final blow I yelled “let’s just DIVORCE.” And when Janet quickly agreed, we knew we had no choice.














So that night before Thanksgiving was the end. The end of a long, difficult marriage. It was the last time of using angry words of divorce to hurt each other. That was the last time we would ever be so angry that we actually felt hate toward each other. It was all over.

The next day of Thanksgiving festivities was very difficult and painful as we kept our secret from all of our family. It was a day of sadness and very few feelings of thankfulness. And though at the time it seemed like the worst Thanksgiving we had ever had, little did we know we would one day see that day in a whole different way.

Now many years later we actually look back on that Thanksgiving day with great gratitude. Because we now realize it was on that day, the day after our darkest night, that our future together would begin brand new.

Although it took us a year and a half to work through all of our issues. And though during that year and a half there were times it looked like we would go through with the plan to divorce, still there was something new that had begun. All the years of bad marriage ended that night before Thanksgiving. And all of our future of treating each other with respect and caring began that Thanksgiving Day.


[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”450px” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ] “For who dares make light of small beginnings?” Zechariah 4:10[/dropshadowbox]


Just like it was for us on that Thanksgiving Day, it is sometimes hard to see a new beginning when it is actually happening. Sometimes you don’t know you have reached a turning point until there has been enough distance between the way it used to be and the way it is now. 

So whatever you’re going through in your marriage, don’t overlook the day of small beginnings. Even great things start out small. A small idea, a small dream, a small hope, all have the potential to be something great. Keep your focus on the steps forward and don’t be so caught up on the steps back. Believe in the possibilities even when the circumstances scream impossible.

And remember this too; in order for something new to begin, what is old has to end. That old stuff that has been killing your marriage has to end. And then, even if it is a small beginning, your new marriage, your new beginning can begin.

Image courtesy of mrpuen DigitalPhotos.net


  1. Chris says:

    I don’t normally leave comments but I just read this and burst into tears.

    I’ve read most of your other articles but none of them affected and inspired me like this one.

    Me and my wife are currently separated.

    I Love her so much and I just want her here with me.

    She’s my baby.

    It’s only been a few weeks but it still hurts like nothing on earth.

    In another writeup you mentioned not being able to sleep or wanting to sleep all day, I can relate to that.

    Some days I swear I can physically feel my heart break.

    New life starts when old life ends

    It’s a similar story to ours,

    That one final argument that pushes a marriage,in our case troubled since the start, over the edge.

    If only we could erase what was said but it can’t be done.

    I pray night and day for my wifes heart to be softened,for her to be healed and made whole,and completely forgive and trust me again,to undo the damage that I take full responsibility for causing.

    I also repent and pray that he would change my heart and renew my mind through this trial so I can “love my wife as Christ loves the church”

    To cherish her.

    To be the husband god called me to be

    To convict me of my sinful ways and never again cause deep hurt to who is my “one flesh ”

    And to lead me to a deeper understanding of who our savour is so that he would be Lord of mine,and my wifes lifes like never before.

    Not just for a better marriage but because of who he is and that “he loved us First”

    Now,after reading this I resolve to make that fateful day a turning point as you guys did,and believe for a new beginning that the Lord will make “all things new”

    For his glory

    Not just a marriage restoration but a transformation.

    Like knocking down an old shell of a building and building it back up bigger and stronger.

    It will be a difficult journey and I know I must have patience, but with God all things are possible.

    Thank you for writing this It just changed my life and God bless you for your ministry.

  2. K says:

    I don’t even know where to begin. My husband of seven years told me six months ago that he is not happy. We have been trying to work together to salvage our marriage but last night he said to me that he feels he has given our marriage a fair shot and enough second chances and he is done. He further told me about a friend who was just a friend but 8 weeks ago she told him she had feelings for him. He believes he reciprocates those feelings and that he might be in love with her. I don’t want to believe our marriage is over. I don’t want to believe that hope is gone. This website has been a balm for me. I am heartbroken and I’m not sure what to pray for because it seems that he has made up his mind. I know every one and every situation is different, but I have a small flame of hope that God will work this miracle in my own marriage as with Jack and Janet.

    • Chris says:

      I’m so sorry to hear about your situation but there is always hope.

      I will keep praying for you.

      Hosea 2:6-7New American Standard Bible (NASB)

      6 “Therefore, behold, I will hedge up [a]her way with thorns,
      And I will build [b]a wall against her so that she cannot find her paths.
      7 “She will pursue her lovers, but she will not overtake them;
      And she will seek them, but will not find them.
      Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first husband,
      For it was better for me then than now!’

      Obviously pray him instead of her
      And wife instead of husband

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