“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” Matthew 13:44
There is a valuable truth that comes from this scripture. A truth that is eye-opening and very thought-provoking. Here is a principle Jesus used to teach about the Kingdom. And this same principle also applies to practically everything in our lives, including marriage.
Principle: For the value of the treasure we buy the whole field.
Look at the way gold or diamonds or any other precious commodity is brought to the surface. It comes when miners are willing to dig through a whole lot of dirt to get their treasure. To get the thing they want they have to deal with a whole lot of stuff they don’t want.
The truth is, your marriage is a treasure hidden in a field. And, you and your spouse are treasures hidden in fields. So, sometimes you have to go through a whole lot of dirt to get the treasure. But the challenge comes when you loose site of the treasure and all you see is dirt.
It is too easy to lose site of the treasure and only focus on the dirt. We tend to always focus on the things we want to change, what we want to remove and not on what we have. We do this in so many ways and on so many different levels. The way we see our marriage, our children, and our jobs, are some of the ways we tend to lose site of the treasures we have in life.
So, how do you keep your focus on the treasure (the marriage you want) and off the field (the problems you don’t want)?
Here are six things you must do.
- Be intentional: Don’t let life take you where you don’t want to go. Be very deliberate and intentional about the way you handle your spouse and your marriage. If you’re not intentional, life will move you like water, always flowing to the lowest level.
- Honor and respect: With honor and respect you raise the value of your marriage. If you look these words up in the dictionary you will see the word esteem. Which gives the idea of placing a high value on. It is always very important to place a high value on your marriage and your spouse. For more on the value of marriage go here.
- Thankfulness and contentment: This is about appreciating how green the grass is on your side of the fence and not worrying about what it looks like somewhere else. It does not mean you are settling for less than you should have, it is just simply being grateful for what you have and letting your marriage grow without trying to force it. So, look for ways you can be thankful for your spouse.
- Examine expectations: Sometimes you have to take a step back and examine why and what your expectations are. Maybe you have built up some ideas of what your marriage should look like or how your spouse should behave that is not realistic. Wrong expectations will always lead to disappointment. It’s OK to want improvements, but it is not OK to try and fit into some preconceived idea of what it “should” be like. Have an expectancy of a good report on your marriage. Phil.4:8 “Think on these things…. what is pure, what is holy, what is just.”
- Deal with the dirt: Don’t be overwhelmed with the fact that there are issues. There is always issues and we all have them. You need to deal with the problems. Don’t sweep stuff under the rug, but stay on the positive side of it. You deal with the dirt while keeping your focus on the treasure. Find the best in your spouse and keep those things in your focus and watch your marriage blossom.
- Prayer: The most important thing on this list is prayer. So, pray for the best in your marriage to overtake the difficulties. Pray for the Lord’s grace to help you surrender your expectations and ideals to His will for your marriage. Pray the Lord gives you eyes to see your spouse the way He does and to love your spouse the way He does. And pray for your spouse in a way that is uplifting and believing for the best in them. And do not use prayer as a way for you to complain about what is wrong with your spouse and begging God to straighten him/her out.
So, keep focusing on the treasure hidden in the field of your marriage. The field you will have to deal with, but the treasure is well worth it.