Is the marriage crisis you’re dealing with breaking your heart? Do you feel like your world is shattered and crumbling all around you? And does it make you question how much you can stand or how long can you endure? If your answers are yes, I know how you feel.
Because fighting to save a marriage is one of the toughest ordeals a person can ever experience. The heartache and pain can be so tormenting that it makes it hard to function in any other area of life. And there are times when the pain is so hard to bear, all a person can do is shut it off by staying busy with other areas of life. Either way it seems like life is just a blur and all you can do is trying to survive it.
But I have another question for you, a question I believe that can make a huge difference in how you get through this experience.
Is Your Heart Broken For The Right Reason?
Now I don’t want to minimize what you’re feeling and how devastating this is for you. I know the feelings of rejection, loneliness, and loss are very real for you right now. But if the only heartache you feel is for yourself and what you are going through, then I believe there is a bigger picture here that the Lord wants you to see.
If your spouse is blinded by anger, pain, or some sinful behavior that has taken over his/her life, then this is a time to put aside what you’re dealing with and focus your heart and prayers on what your spouse is dealing with. The Lord wants you to see the condition of your spouse’s heart and for you to be heartbroken for your spouse.
When we read in God’s word “For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”(John 3:16), we are seeing a picture of God’s heartbreak. We could even read this verse “For God was so heartbroken for the world that He gave His Son…”
Remember, God did not give His heart and His Son to a world that deserved it. He gave His heart to a world that had rejected Him, betrayed Him, and committed adultery against Him. He was so heartbroken for a world that was a broken mess, He gave everything He had to give.
I know this was also the experience the Lord had to take me through. At first my heartbreak was all about me and what I was going through, but as I let the Lord lead me to a place where I was burdened and heartbroken for my wife, I began to know what God’s kind of love is all about.
It was then that I began to pray for my wife, not as my wife, but as a “sister in the Lord” who had lost her way. I let go of praying out of my selfish desires knowing that God would take care of me no matter what and instead I prayed for my wife knowing her life was in a desperate place and if I didn’t stand in the gap for her, who would?
So now I know this is challenging you and I again I don’t want to overlook how difficult your situation is. But I firmly believe that the best thing you can do with the heartbreak you are feeling is to let the Lord help you with it by turning your focus toward being the prayer warrior your spouse needs you to be. His/her very life may be hanging in the balance of how you handle this.
And when you do this, I believe you will see God do some amazing things inside your heart, in your spouse’s heart, and with your marriage.
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