At the very core of any relationship is the idea that we relate to one another through some sort of connection. It is through our connections that we create bonds that hold us together. The bond can be as simple as a distant relative that you still feel connected to because you share the same family. Or it can be as complex as two elderly sisters who have been best friends since childhood.
But of course not all relationships are the same. We can have relationships with family members that look the same as far as our position in the family, but we are some how more connected to certain family members than we are others. It’s not that we love one family member more than the other, it’s just that there is a greater connection we have with certain people based on the things we share in common.
And we have different connections with different people who cause us to relate to each other in different ways. There may be certain people we connect with that is based on church or our religious beliefs, while other people we connect with that is based on what we like to do to have fun.
The same thing happens in marriage. Just because two people are married does not mean they have the same relationship as all other married couples. It’s the same legally and before God. One man married to one woman is just as officially married as any other man married to a woman. But the quality and strength of the marriage can vary from extremely poor to really great. It just depends on well a husband and wife relate to one another.
How are you two related?
If you are in a marriage that is struggling to survive or in a good marriage that has simply drifted apart you need to examine how well you relate to one another. Look for the areas you connect well with each other and build from there. Don’t focus on the negatives and what is wrong in your marriage. Focus on what is working and what is good in your relationship.
Then as you strengthen the connections you do have you will find strength in your relationship to move forward and start building new connections you may have never had before. Remember, no two marriages will look the same. We all have our own unique connections that may be strong in some areas and weak in others.
The important thing is to work from your place of strength and stay on the positive side of how you relate to each other as you work to improve the areas you are weak. And at the same time you must also stay aware that the problem areas that exist in your marriage should not be neglected. Those negative areas do need to be dealt with, just deal with them from the positive side of how you two relate to one another.
It’s a lot like putting together a puzzle. From the beginning of our marriage we start fitting the pieces together until hopefully by the end of our lives we will have made all the connections and completed the picture.
What are your strongest connection points? If you would like to share with us, please leave us a comment and tell us how you two relate.