I have a very simple word of advise to give today; Don’t Let Your Spouse Become Your Enemy.
Everyone of us face our own difficulty. We may not be going through the same stuff, but I know each of us have challenges we all have to deal with. And I know those challenges seem to have a way of testing us in ways we never thought we would be tested.
Some of you may be dealing with some serious marriage issues that have you worried over how it will all work out. I know, I’ve been there, and it is certainty a tough place to be. But no matter what you are facing, you have to keep in mind that you and your spouse are on the same team.
Now that we are starting our new year with a “Yes We Can” attitude, let’s remember that no matter what we are going through we have to trust that God is at work on our behalf to help us change into better people.
Next, we need to be Committed to His purpose even when we are not happy.
One of the most common problems many couples have is assuming the purpose for their marriage is for their own happiness. And when there is enough unhappiness people tend to reconsider their commitment to their marriage.
“Do you Jack, take Janet to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“Do you Janet, take Jack to be your lawfully wedded Husband?”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
I remember the day we spoke those words like it was yesterday. I was a wide eyed Nineteen year old who thought he knew everything there was to know about being a husband. After all, my only dream in life for the previous six years was to one day be called a husband.
Every time our marriage looked like it was over and I found myself fighting to hang on, I began to examine myself for what I had done wrong. I would remember the things I had done to hurt may wife. And whether it was in some small ways or in something major I had done, it all came back to one thing. I was selfish.
My selfish ways were toxic to our marriage. I hurt my wife with stupid things just because I was so selfish. I neglected our marriage and cause her to feel lonely and desperate simply because I was too selfish to give her and our marriage the best of me.
I started this series to emphasis something we strongly believe in. I wrote on day #1 a list of 12 people/couples who need marriage ministry. So far I have covered 11 and now the final one.
Leaders, who work in marriage ministry like us, need to also receive ministry back into our own marriage. In fact all leaders and especially those in the body of Christ have a duty to reinvest in their own marriage on a regular basis.
And God said, let a man and a woman have good sex, regularly, within the boundaries of marriage. And God blessed their sex and said it was good.
Okay, maybe you won’t find those exact words in Genesis 1 or 2. But if you study the scripture you will find that God did create us to enjoy our marriage with a healthy sex life. We were created to live life with passion and our sexual relationship in marriage should be a great expression of this passion. Continue reading →
Couples sometimes need some help to keep their love from fading and their relationship from drifting apart. Drifting apart is all too real for so many couples and I would go so far to say, it is something that happens to all couples at one time or another.
The key is knowing why it happens and what you can do to change it.
Why do we drift?
The word of God teaches us, (Gen.2:24) that marriage requires for a man and a woman to be joined together, and they become one flesh. The KJV bible uses the word cleave for joined together. Other translations use the words embraces, united, and cling. The picture here is that the covenant marriage relationship is to create a bond of oneness that is so tight there can be no separating what used to be two.
When working to overcome some hard things in your marriage, such as an affair, it would be very helpful to find some help from a marriage ministry. Especially if you feel you have one last chance to save to your marriage from divorce.
One last chance
A few weeks ago we started our late summer sessions of Marriage Builders classes. We had a good turnout and anytime that happens we break out into small discussion groups after the teaching segment. Continue reading →
So today I want to speak to a certain situation that may or may not be the one you are in right now. But chances are if you’re not there now you may have been there before. And hopefully we can work together to keep you from ever going there again. Continue reading →
On our last post Getting That Stubborn Stain Out, I introduced the idea of using COFHE to deal with those STUBBORN MARRIAGE PROBLEMS. With each letter representing an important step to dealing with marriage conflict; C – commitment, O – ownership, F – forgiveness, H – hope, and E – empathy. On this post I will focus on commitment. There is a lot to say, so let’s jump in.
C is for COMMITMENT.
Commitment in marriage is an absolute essential for a marriage to last. It’s the promise we make to each other, “until death do us part,” that gives us the hope of going the distance of being married for life. And even if we are challenged with very difficult circumstances, it is this promise of commitment that sees us through. In Life decisions, I talked about my own hopes for a lifelong marriage and how commitment seen me through some difficult times. All marriages start out with this vision of going the distance of being married for life. Continue reading →