There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and believe for the restoration of your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.
I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.
Your story may be different that what I went through, but I still know the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further, then the next minute your heart is so alive with the hope of your future as long as you can just hang on a little longer.
I’ll be the first to admit I have a problem deciding when to throw something away and when to save it. The struggle I have is when I look at something thinking I might throw it away, I then think to myself, “maybe if I throw it away now I will one day in the future wish I still had it.” Because what I’m really trying to decide is, has this lost it’s usefulness to me, or does it still have some form of value to me?
That’s the same problem I see a lot people have when it comes to their marriage. They are trying to decide if their marriage has lost its usefulness to them or not. If they determine that it no longer has the value that it once did, such as “makes me happy,” “fulfills me,” “completes me,” or “satisfies all my needs,” they are ready then to dispose of it.
Like a low-grade fever that allows you to function even though you know something is wrong in your body, you could be living with a constant low-grade fever in your marriage. Your marriage survives from day-to-day because it doesn’t seem to be in critical condition, but you know internally there is a fight going on against something that isn’t quite right.
You may be one of the many couples who live with this condition for years and never do anything to fix the problem. But very often what seems to be a case of marriage with a simple cold eventually turns into a sickness that threatens the life of the marriage.
It isn’t that hard to recognize if your marriage has a fever or not. You know if your marriage doesn’t feel well. You know if there is problems in your marriage that should be resolved. If there is an irritation you feel toward your spouse, you know it. And you probably know if there is some irritation your spouse feels toward you.
Twas the night before Thanksgiving when husband and wife were at it again. We were fighting up a storm, no thought of how it would end. Cutting words were flying with no reasoning in sight. We brought down our marriage using anger and spite. Then with one final blow I yelled “let’s just DIVORCE.” And when Janet quickly agreed, we knew we had no choice.
So that night before Thanksgiving was the end. The end of a long, difficult marriage. It was the last time of using angry words of divorce to hurt each other. That was the last time we would ever be so angry that we actually felt hate toward each other. It was all over.
These two simple words “I’m sorry,” can be so powerful for growing your marriage and yet these two words are so seldom heard.
I’m sure you know saying “I love you” is very important for a strong healthy marriage, but confessing your faults to each other and saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong” should be just as important to you as saying “I love you.”
Confessing you are wrong is actually a major part of demonstrating your love for your spouse. It can be an act of devotion to your marriage and love for your spouse for a number of reasons.
There is a war that goes on in marriage, but I believe way too many people misunderstand what the real war in marriage is all about.
I remember how offended I felt when someone I knew posted a statement on Facebook that said, “marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” For them it was meant to be a joke and so my response to them was a little too harsh because I wanted them to take their marriage more serious.
Today is our anniversary and as we celebrate it we are reminded of what took place on this date 32 years ago. It was the beginning of our marriage, the beginning of a life long journey. It was a day we will never forget as we are always reminded of it on our anniversary and on many other occasions as well.
Over the years we have been to many wedding ceremonies, including the two we went to this past year. We have been to large extravagant weddings and we have been to small intimate weddings. As we have set through these weddings we are often reminded of our own wedding. And we have often wondered what it would have been like if we would have had a wedding like a lot of couples have.
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