We first heard Dr. Slattery speaking as a co-host on Focus on the Family. So when we were asked to read and write a review for her new book our immediate reaction was, “absolutely, we would be honored.” We felt very confident that whatever she had to say about marriage would be well worth our time of reading and would definitely be something we would recommend to our readers. (more…)
Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse and can’t remember what you started arguing about? Have you ever thought if you apologize and admit you were wrong, it could make you look weak? I must confess, before the Lord brought healing into our lives and marriage, I used to struggle with this way of thinking quite a bit. That’s why I want to share with you why I now believe it is extremely wrong to fight over who is right.
For many years I was easily caught in this scenario of fighting to prove I was right. It didn’t matter what the argument was about, I was determined from the beginning to prove my points and to prove I was right. And if it ever appeared (more…)
Every now and then Janet and I discover that one or both of us still struggle with some lingering effect from the bad years of our marriage. We have no problem with being transparent about the things we have done to each other and to our marriage. So I want to share with you how our old ways of arguing and fighting all the time did more damage than I would’ve ever thought possible.
Now I don’t want to give the wrong message here and cause discouragement to those still hoping to restore their marriage. Janet and I have overcome a lot and we are much better off having stayed together than we would have been if we had parted ways. It’s not that our marriage is in trouble or that it is threatened by our past. It’s just sometimes damage can take more work to overcome than anyone would have imagined.
Here in the US one of our favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. It’s a time for family gatherings filled with traditions, some overindulgence of great food, and a time of reflection for the many blessings we have to be thankful for.
Unfortunately for far too many of us we can easily overlook the part of reflection and thankfulness. We allow Thanksgiving and the Christmas season become a time of crazy busyness and rush. And we forget how valuable it is to take time out for giving thanks. And definitely if our life is in a bad season we often lose sight of what we have to be thankful for.
There is something special about brand new. When something brand new comes in your life there are special feelings that come with it. A new car, a new house, new clothes, new tools, new appliances, all share in common that special feeling.
The same can be said about a new marriage. There is excitement and hopeful anticipation for what the future will hold. You don’t know everything this new journey will encounter, but you believe the two of you together can conquer the world.
A brand new marriage, whether it’s the first, second, third or whatever number, feels like starting off with a clean slate. There is no bad history, bad memories, or bad feelings between husband and wife. They can take everything they have learned about life and relationships and apply those lessons to this new marriage and everything should work out just fine.
[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”auto” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]Today we have a quest post from a dear friend of ours, Giovanna Burgess Geathers LPC. We hope you will be blessed with what she has to share. [/dropshadowbox]
Recently, I had the pleasure of seeing the Broadway production of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella starring Keke Palmer and Nene Leakes. Although I love the Cinderella story and the play itself was astounding, it still caused me to reflect on the number of women I know personally and professionally who are still believing that they are going to be rescued by a handsome prince who will whisk them away to the land of happily ever after and make all of their dreams come true.
Image courtesy of meepoohfoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Perhaps even more sadly are the number of women who have completely trashed the concept of Cinderella and the land of happily ever after and chosen instead to reside in the land of just enough, not enough, never enough and had enough.
The reality is that although many women from different “villages”, cultures, and backgrounds may share the common goal of finding and enjoying a healthy, meaningful relationship, many are discovering that “happily ever after” really does not exist…except in fairytales.
It’s easy to love your spouse when your marriage is healthy and going strong. There is a rhythm to how love flows and it seems effortless. It’s like the two of you are dancing in harmony with each step perfectly timed and choreographed. You give and then you receive and then you give some more. You both give love at the same time and in the same way. You both give love at opposite times and in opposite ways. You know without a doubt the two of you are becoming one.
But what if your marriage is not working this way? What if the music has stopped and there is no dance left in your marriage? You’re trying to continue to love your spouse even though you are seriously hurting inside. You believe in marriage. You want to honor the vows you have made. You want to do what is right before God. So you keep trying to love even when the pain of rejection and neglect keeps telling you to stop.
Is there anyone praying for you? When you are going through the worst battle of your life, is there anyone who is helping you hold it together by praying for you? When you’re seeking for some answers and you need to know the will of God, who can you count on to take your situation before the Lord?
I mean it is great to have others around you who love you and are willing to give you advice. But what should matter the most is having people around you who are actually praying for you. Because at the end of the day advice is good and is sometimes needed. But there is nothing better than knowing you are not alone, there are other people who have your back and they are faithfully sending out prayers to the Lord on your behalf.
It is one of those precious jewels that will stay with you for the rest of your life when you look back at your most difficult days and you remember the ones who stood with you and were actually helping you make it because of the prayers they prayed.
Like right now as I write this, I’m choking back the tears as I think of someone who helped me, more than I can ever know, simply by bringing my life and marriage problem before God. My uncle Dan who sadly passed away almost three years ago was someone I knew without a doubt was praying for me throughout the marriage crisis I faced.
Many times I went to him to talk about what I was going through and I knew his advice and encouragement was sincere (more…)
Many believers have certain people come to mind when they think about great faith. Great men and women of the bible and all throughout the ages there have been countless examples of great faith demonstrated in individual lives during extraordinary times.
Over the years I have also looked to and admired many different examples of great faith that have often encouraged me through difficult times. But the one example that has come to mean the most to me, is my wife. Janet’s story of faith has certainly benefited and blessed my life in a very personal way. But also whenever I step back and look at her story as a whole and I see what role faith has played in her life, when I do that, I’m always overwhelmed with admiration for her.
You see, so often people hear the basics of our story of how we were near divorce 4 different times, and how each time it was Janet who wanted out of our marriage and it was me who fought to save our marriage, and because of that people think I’m the hero of our story. But I cannot tell you how far from the truth that view of our story really is.
So I’ll tell you why My Wife is My Hero of Faith (more…)