Faith Doesn’t Measure the Size of the Mountain

Does the problem you’re dealing with look like a mountain in front of you? Maybe, you’re having trouble in your marriage. And the problem is bigger than what you think you can handle. Or, maybe you’re facing some other mountain size problem that is putting a strain on your marriage.

mountain

Whatever the problem may be, I want you to know I understand how you feel. I have felt that way many times, in my marriage and with other battles that affected my marriage. Many times I have felt like the problem was like a huge mountain in front of me.

But whenever I think a problem looks as big as a mountain I’m reminded of what Jesus said about moving a mountain. Read more

Watching a Marriage Fall Apart is Like Watching Someone’s Home Burn

Marriage ministry means a lot to us. We love helping couples build strong marriages. And we love helping hurting couples restore their marriages. But sometimes couples won’t let us help. Then when we watch a marriage fall apart it reminds me of a time I watched a family’s home burn to the ground.

watching marriage fall apart

I was a teenager at the time. My family and I were driving down the highway, almost home, when up ahead of we saw the flashing red lights of fire trucks. As we slowed down approaching the scene we could see a house was on fire. Read more

How Selfishness is Sometimes Hidden by Good Intentions

It’s humbling to recognize your selfishness when you thought you were doing something good. I knew I had some selfish tendencies that I needed to guard against. But this one act of selfishness caught me by surprise. In fact, up until two years ago, Janet and I both thought of this story in a completely different way.

hidden selfishness

Then two years ago I was reading What Did You Expect, by Paul David Tripp. One of my all time favorite marriage books. We were using his material for our Marriage Builders class and I was reviewing our next lesson. Then something he said in the book took me back to one weekend when our marriage was in crisis. Read more

Marriage Covenant is NOT a Weapon to Use Against Your Spouse

Your marriage covenant is not an entitlement. And you should not take it for granted. You don’t get to say vows before a minister and expect that to be your guarantee to lifelong marriage. It takes more than that.

covenant

I believe many marriages suffer from abuse and/or neglect because people treat their marriage covenant as an entitlement. Their hunt is over. They caught their prey. Now they don’t have to give their marriage the same work as they did when they were dating. When their former boyfriend or girlfriend had the freedom to walk away.

We believe in covenant 100%

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Are You Willing to Lose the Battle to Save What You Love

It’s easy to find yourself in a fight with your spouse without knowing how to let it go. You know you don’t want to be fighting. But the thing you’re fighting over seems too important, so you believe you must stand your ground. When this happens you need to know there are times when you have to lose the battle to save what you love.

lose the battle

There is a story in the bible that I think sets a great example for couples to follow. It’s a story that demonstrates the wisdom of king Solomon and how he resolved the conflict of two women. Read more

We Need Peacemakers When There is Division

I am grieved by the troubles in our world today. Everywhere we turn people are against one another. There are divisions over race, religious views, political views, social and economic status. And for many of us there is division in our own families. So I think everyone would agree, we need peacemakers.

we need peacemakers

I know this is a marriage blog and so I’m not trying to turn this into a current events article. But I believe some of the lessons we try to communicate to marriages, we can also apply to the world around us. After all, marriage is all about the journey of becoming united as one flesh. So why wouldn’t the same principles of unity work for our world around us? Read more

Dont Run From the Pain

I came to the place in my life that I could no longer run from the pain. My life was a mess and I needed help. I had stuffed all my pain and hurt deep inside from the wounds from others and wounds that were self inflicted. So I turned to a counselor to help me out of my prison.

 don't run from the pain

I was dealing with abandonment issues from both my mother and my father. I had been abused from early childhood all the way through my adult life. Three different men molested me from age 6 to ll. One of the men did it more than 20 times. I was date raped twice when I was a teenager. I was physically abused from my father and a couple of times in my first marriage. And I dealt with emotional abuse from my father, my first husband, and in my marriage with Jack. Read more

Conference: Show Me Your Scars

Today I have some exciting news to share with you. So, I’m taking a slight detour on this post from our regular messages on marriage.  On June 11, in Greenville SC, Janet will be one of the featured speakers at this year’s “Show Me Your Scars” conference. This will be a one-day event and the focus will be on emotional healing.

show me your scars

This will be Janet’s first time to publicly speak at this level. She will be sharing in-depth her own testimony of her severe childhood trauma. On how that affected her as an adult. And how God brought complete healing and restoration into her life. She is also preparing to go beyond simply telling her story. She will present a message of hope and encouragement in what the power of god’s grace can do.

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You Can Become Better or Bitter, the Choice is Yours

The challenges we face in life are tough sometimes. Challenges with our health, our job, our children, or our marriage are the type of challenges almost everyone will have to deal with at one point or another. But in every challenge we face we have to make a conscious decision. Will we choose to let the situation make us better, or will we let it make us bitter?

become better or bitter

I’ve seen the importance of this choice time after time. Not only in my own life, but also in the lives of many others. And every time a person allows themselves to become bitter there is always a severe price that comes with making the wrong choice. Let me share a few examples. Read more