Should You Stand for Your Marriage

There are many of you who are in a very difficult place right now. Your marriage is in trouble and all you know to do is stand your ground and believe for the restoration of your marriage. You’re in one of the greatest challenges a person can face in life. And I know some of you ask yourself how much more you can take.

I want you to know Janet and I admire and appreciate every one of you facing this battle. It takes a lot of courage and conviction to take this stand. As many of you know I have been there, and I know too well how difficult it is.

 

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Your story may be different that what I went through, but I understand the delicate balance you have to walk between heartache and hope. One minute your heart is so torn and broken you don’t think you can go any further, then the next minute your heart is so alive with the hope of your future as long as you can just hang on a little longer.

I know there are times when your spouse has a lot to do with how much heartache or hope you feel. You hang on to every little word and every little action trying to read into which direction your spouse will take. And then there are times when your spouse gives you no reason at all to hope but yet you have hope anyway. Continue Reading →

He Knows You, He Is Always There For You

I don’t know exactly what you are going through right now, but it doesn’t take much for me to imagine myself in the same position many of you are in right now, the same place I was in many years ago. And when I do I can’t help but remember how much it meant for me to get before the Lord through worship and to just soak in His presence and allow His love to wash over me. It didn’t make my problems go away, but it certainly made it easier and in His presence I always found what I needed to keep believing there was hope for my situation.

So the message here in this post is simple. “He knows you, He is always there for you.” You can find anything you need when you enter into His presence.

I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do!

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When a Difficult Marriage is Really an Abusive Marriage

We are all about encouraging husbands and wives who struggle with difficult marriages. We believe commitment, hope, and perseverance go a long way in helping couples get past their difficult season and on to the marriage they have always wanted.

But there is a serious issue of abusiveness that is facing far too many marriages today. This issue should never be ignored or overlooked, by the men and women who find themselves in an abusive relationship, nor by the rest of us who have a voice to speak out against it.

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On this final post of this series on difficult marriage I need to deal with why men and women need to recognize when Difficult Marriage is Really an Abusive Marriage. Because once this line has been crossed the approach to dealing with the marriage crisis must change.

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Is Your Difficult Marriage Too Much to Bear

Sometimes marriage difficulty can be so great all you can think about is running away. On one hand you don’t want to give up on your marriage, but on the other you just don’t know how much you can bear.

Honestly, during the difficult times of my own marriage there were many times I felt like giving up. Yes, I was committed for life and I did stand for my marriage when we were near divorce. But the truth is, it was very difficult and there were many times I wanted to give up.

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There were times when we were not on the verge of breaking up and yet still the struggle to have a happy marriage was more than I could handle sometimes. Then there were times when I had to fight to save our marriage while at the same time I battled against feelings of hopelessness and many times thought the best thing for me to do would be to move on. And there were times when I felt so much anger and resentment I really didn’t care if my marriage survived or not. Continue Reading →

When You Don’t Know How to Improve Your Difficult Marriage

You know you would like to have a marriage you have always dreamed of having but somewhere along the way the challenges of life has got into your marriage. And now you find yourself not knowing how to improve your difficult marriage.

On our previous post, Why Do You Settle For a Difficult Marriage, I gave a challenge for anyone who felt stuck with no intention of doing anything about the condition of their marriage. I talked about how marriage was designed by God to be place of “One Flesh” unity and that God esteems marriage in such high regard that He even chose marriage to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the church.

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And as I mentioned in my challenge, “if marriage has been given the responsibility from God to represent what Christ relationship with us the Church should look like, shouldn’t we hold marriage to the same standard of honor and glory that God has already placed on it.”

But maybe you’re someone from my last post who answered Continue Reading →

Why Would You Settle for a Difficult Marriage?

A difficult marriage is a hard thing to endure. The stress of bickering and division never seems to end. Sometimes there may be moments of hope because love and peace seemed to be restored. But that hope quickly fades as another day presents another challenge and with the challenge husband and wife fall right back into their ruts of strife, anger, hurt, and confusion. And sadly too many men and women who have this type of marriage have no idea they don’t have to settle for it.

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For 19 years I was willing to settle for a difficult marriage. For the most part I was always blind to how troubled my marriage was. I knew it was normal for couples to argue and have disagreements so I thought what was going on in my marriage was just as normal as anyone else’s. I was committed to being married for life even if I didn’t like the condition of my marriage. Continue Reading →

Is Your House Divided?

“If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” Mark 3:25

Marriage is a wonderful gift from God. It’s the union of two unique individuals blending their lives together to become as the bible says, “one flesh.” This unity does not happen when husbands and wives become the same in every way possible. True unity in marriage is established and held together when couples celebrate what they share in common while at the same time learn to accept and embrace each other’s differences. Couples that strive to become “one flesh” know there is beauty and strength in both their sameness and in their differences.

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But there is something seriously wrong in a marriage the moment a couple begins allowing their differences to become a place of division. When their differences become a place of contention and dispute their marriage is put in serious jeopardy. Because when division is accepted and tolerated in their relationship they open up the door for greater trouble in their marriage.

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This One Thing Is Destroying Marriages Everyday

Everyday marriages all over the world are being destroyed by a single killer. This killer morphs in many forms and works in various ways, but make no mistake the threat of this thing is very real and very dangerous. If this killer is not able to destroy a marriage it will at the very least render a marriage powerless to reach the full potential it was designed to be.

I’m angry about what this killer has done to hurt so many marriages and I’m passionate about being part of an army who aims to defeat this enemy of marriages.

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Now when I tell you the name of this marriage destroyer, I hope you don’t overlook the danger behind its simplistic name. And I hope you’re not offended by what I’m saying here. I hope you understand I’m trying to help us all. I’m not trying to point the finger at anybody and I’m not trying to put people down. This thing nearly destroyed my own marriage and in some ways I know it can still threaten us today.

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What’s So Wrong With “I’m Not In Love Anymore”

The words “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” have been said many times by one spouse to another trying to explain the current condition of their emotions. And sadly those words have been used over and over again as an explanation for why one spouse has decided to give up on their marriage.

But as I said in our last post, there is something terribly flawed with this way of thinking. And if this is the way you’re feeling about your spouse and your marriage right now, I want to send out a warning to you.

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Chasing after this type of emotion is very dangerous. Not only is it a threat to your current marriage, this type of thinking threatens any future hope you may have for a lasting relationship.

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What if You’re Not “IN LOVE” Anymore

“I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”

You want your spouse to know you really do care for him/her. The two of you have shared so much together, so naturally you still love them as a person. You’re not cold-hearted and you don’t like hurting your spouse, but there has been a serious shift in the way you feel. You love him/her, but it’s not the same love you felt before.

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Back before when the two of you started out and you were so in love you couldn’t get enough of each other. You felt so much passion you wanted to be together all the time. There was no way you could have ever imagined you would one day lose that feeling, but you did.

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